3 Weeks After Engagement, Tragedy Left Him Paralyzed and She Became His Caregiver: 'It Brought Us Closer' (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Vaughn Pfeffer and Ariadne Carvalhais photographed for PEOPLE in January 2025.Photo:Jessica Scranton

Jessica Scranton

On Christmas Eve 2020 while playing a game of rummy with his girlfriend Ariadne Carvalhais, Vaughn Pfeffer hid a message in their deck of cards: “Will You Marry Me?” The answer: an immediate yes. “We imagined our life together, moving in, planning a wedding,” Vaughn tells PEOPLE.

Vaughn Pfeffer and Ari Carvalhais on Christmas Eve 2020, with his playing card proposal.Ariadne Carvalhais

Ariadne Carvalhais

Ahead of them they saw a lifetime of travel, running, hiking and, eventually, a house filled with kids who loved adventure as much as their parents did.

Vaughn Pfeffer and Ari Carvalhais at a Tough Mudder race in 2019.Ariadne Carvalhais

But less than three weeks later on Jan. 12, Ari received a call that changed everything. Without warning, Vaughn, 39, had collapsed on a weight bench at the gym, unable to move his legs. He’d suffered an aortic dissection—a tear in the aorta, which is often fatal (actorsJohn RitterandAlan Thickeboth died from the condition).

Vaughn was rushed to open-heart surgery. “I was shaking,” says Ari, 34. “I couldn’t wrap my head around it.” The tear had cut off the blood supply to his spinal cord and left him paralyzed from the waist down unable to walk or, at first, even to dress himself. “When that hit me, I remember crying,” he says. Adds Ari: “Things were just taken away from us."

Vaughn Pfeffer and fiance Ari Carvalhais in 2021.Ariadne Carvalhais

Vaughn, who’d been working as an operations assistant for the nonprofitGood Sports, was facing a future where he, like14 million other Americans, would need long-term help. And Ari, who’d been laid off during the pandemic from her bartending job, became his full-timecaregiver.

Caregiving By the Numbers

1 in 5:Number of Americans who care for loved ones with long-term needs.

13% :Percentage of Americans with a disability.

Sources: AARP and Well Spouse Association

That’s a role that “can go in two directions,” says Laurel Wittman, co-president of theWell Spouse Association, a group that advocates for the 6 million people who are caregivers for their partners. “It either brings you closer together or pushes you further apart.”

Ari and Vaughn, who’d been together for six years at the time of his injury, put their wedding on indefinite hold, but “our relationship grew so much,” says Ari. “Our communication got better. We understand what each other needs a lot more. And it highlighted all the things I loved about him.”

In the days after his new reality sunk in, Vaughn had doubts. “Your self-esteem is low,” he says. “Your body has completely changed. Fear creeps in: Am I a burden? Is this worth it for her?”

Ari Carvalhais on Valentine’s Day 2021.Ariadne Carvalhais

But the day-to-day of caring for someone with a spinal injury—helping them dress or clean up after accidents (“I used to be really shy, but now it’s like, ‘Go ahead, pull the shorts down,’ ” jokes Vaughn), rotating your partner in bed to avoid bedsores—is far less romantic.

Ari Carvalhais and Vaughn Pfeffer in January 2024.Jessica Scranton

And that responsibility can be a heavy weight. Rates of depression among family caregivers are estimated to be more than twice the general population. “It’s hard to care for one person, much less two,” Wittman says. “We don’t take as good care of ourselves, because time spent on ourselves feels selfish. But it’s of benefit to you and your partner.”

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In the months after Vaughn’s injury, he and Ari moved in with his father, who converted his home to make it wheelchair-accessible, but just as the couple was beginning to adjust to their new normal, another tragedy struck: a car accident left Vaughn’s dad paralyzed and in a wheelchair himself. “That was really tough because of all that my dad did when I got injured,” Vaughn says. “I would’ve gone through my injury another time, two more times, however many times to take it away from him.”

Ari felt the loss of his support as well. “He helped us tremendously, and he’s somebody who inspires me so much,” she says. “His accident took the wind out of me.”

Finding support as a caregiver is a challenge. “Caregiving as a partner is a 24/7 duty with no start and no end time,” says Ari. “My friends, I can’t connect with them over this. Even though they might have good intentions, I don’t think they have the tools or the experience to offer me much advice on what I’m going through.”

But despite the strain, their situation has created a new type of intimacy for the couple.

“The number one question people ask — even strangers, someone I just met — can we have sex?” says Ari. “I understand the question but it shows how priorities are skewed. No one asks, ‘How is it checking into a hotel? What happens when you get there and they say they’re accessible and they’re not? What happens when you’re in the grocery store — how do you push a cart?’ When you think of what it’s like to have a partner who’s disabled, there’s so many other things that take front and center.”

And the fact is, says Vaughn, “this injury sucks, but it actually brought us closer. There have been some silver linings.” Adds Ari, “We show affection to each other constantly—more now than before. It’s kind of icky if you’re around us!”

Vaughn Pfeffer and Ari Carvalhais photographed for PEOPLE in January 2025.Jessica Scranton

They have, however, paused their own plans to have a family, although doctors told them it’s possible to do so naturally. “Before this injury, I saw us having three kids,” Ari says. “But it would be a big undertaking for me. Being in this caretaker role, I know it’s a lifelong commitment.”

For now they’re focusing on living their best lives.

Vaughn Pfeffer (in white) in 2024, playing quarterback for the New England Patriots wheelchair football team.joe kitting/smugmug.com

joe kitting/smugmug.com

Whatever their future holds, they’re in it together. “We are soulmates,” Ari says. “When you get married, you say, ‘in sickness and in health,’ but until you’re in that situation, you don’t know if you mean it. We live those words, even though we haven’t said them to each other yet.” •

Ari Carvalhais and Vaughn Pfeffer photographed for PEOPLE in January 2025.Jessica Scranton

source: people.com