Allison Holker Says Stephen 'tWitch' Boss Went on 'Ayahuasca Journey' That Changed Him Prior to Death: 'He Never Healed'

Mar. 15, 2025

Allison Holkerrecalls the moment when she saysStephen “tWitch” Bosschanged forever.

During an interview onThe Jamie Kern Lima Showwhile promoting her memoirThis Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, Holker revealed that her late husband embarked on an “ayahuasca journey” and “wasn’t the same afterwards.”

“I think it was a very big turning point for him,” she said. “I feel like his heart was never really in the same place when he came back. There was something missing in his eyes.”

“It just kind of feels like he opened something up to himself that he never healed. And never fully escaped,” added Holker, 36.

Ayahuasca is a “plant-based psychedelic” drug, according to theAlcohol and Drug Foundation. It can be brewed into a tea, which can cause the user to experience hallucinations or heightened emotions, perWebMD.

The professional dancer went on to say that she was “really sad” about what her husband went through, and despite it all, she would remember him as “a wonderful person.”

However, she also noted that while she “will always” celebrate Boss, she also couldn’t “celebrate so much of his [choices]” — especially the ones that would leave a lasting impact on their children. (The two share a sonMaddox, 9 next month, and daughterZaia, 5, while Holker also has 16-year-old daughterWesliefrom a previous relationship.)

“But what I am impressed with is that they are doing the work, and they are putting in the time, and they are finding joy in life, and they are finding laughter again,” Holker continued. “But there’s a lot to unpack for them that they’ll have to deal with for the rest of their lives.”

Allison Holker Boss in Los Angeles on Nov. 19, 2023.Birdie Thompson/Variety via Getty Images

Birdie Thompson/Variety via Getty Images

“To fans of Stephen and our family and friends, I want to be clear that my only intention in writing the book is to share my own story as well as part of my life with Stephen to help other people,” Holker said at the time. “Just like you, I never really knew what happened, and even as I am trying to put the pieces together I will never really know.”

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Stephen “tWitch” Boss and Allison Holker Boss in Los Angeles on Dec. 5, 2022.Robin L Marshall/WireImage

Robin L Marshall/WireImage

Holker shared that over the last two years since his death, she has “spoken in detail” withNational Alliance of Mental Health,Solomon Family SolutionsandThe Defensive Lineto “better educate myself on mental health issues so that I can share warning signs with others.”

“My hope is that we don’t need to lose another husband, brother, father or friend to suicide,” she continued. “I believe that if Stephen were able to choose, he would choose to have his story told if it meant saving even one life."

“Much love to all those who supported our family these many years,” Holker Boss concluded.

source: people.com