'Dead Broke' Couple Asks Guests to Pay for Their 'Entire Wedding' Instead of Giving Gifts

Mar. 15, 2025

Photo illustration of a woman opening an empty wallet.Photo:Getty

Getty

A wedding guest is turning to the internet for some reassurance after their “dead broke” friends are asking others to pay “for their entire wedding” instead of giving gifts.

The wedding guest anonymously shared their story to Reddit’s popularr/weddingsubreddit, writing on Wednesday, Feb. 26 that two of their friends are tying the knot in August, planning a “small ceremony” at a family member’s home and will have a restaurant dinner as their reception.

But instead of gifts, the soon-to-be-newlyweds are asking their friends to help cover the cost of the day itself — including the “cake, photographer, marriage license, bride’s dress, groom’s suit, decor and flowers,” among other things. The guests are “basically paying for their entire wedding,” the Reddit user wrote.

Photo illustration of a group raising wine glasses during a wedding reception.Getty

The couple has already “assigned what they want each guest to pay for” and it apparently remains unclear if guests will be required to pay for their own dinner as well, per the post. In addition to funding the wedding itself, guests are required to follow the event’s attire requirements and must wear semi-formal royal blue looks, the Reddit user wrote.

“I think it’s a bit much to pay for a part of their wedding, our own attire we are requested to wear and also pay for our own dinner/split the bill at the end of the night,” the original poster noted. “When my husband and I got married, we saved for years and payed for everything ourselves. Half of our guests didn’t even give us a gift (which is okay, a gift is a gift and was not expected).”

The pair “isn’t being super appreciative of what everyone is doing for them” either, the wedding guest added.

“The way they bring things up is very passive aggressive, like they’ll complain about everything hoping someone will jump in and offer to do it so they’ll be happy (I’m guilty of offering to help with more than I should because they are dear friends).”

Before asking for “any advice,” the Reddit user wrote that they and their husband “are thinking about just backing out and paying for what we said we would.”

“Part of me thinks they aren’t ready to get married if they literally can’t contribute anything to their own wedding,” they wrote. “Maybe I just needed to vent and get it off my chest and I’ll have a change of heart. It just seems like they’re asking for a lot and not bringing a lot to the table.”

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The general consensus among commenters was that the couple was asking for too much, with the most-upvoted message noting that they’d personally “back out.”

“I know if I back out and don’t pay, the peace will definitely not be kept. And that alone makes me want to back out and drop the friendship entirely. For being in our 30s, it’s all very odd,” the original poster wrote in response.

Another user called the requirements to attend the wedding “absurd” and wrote that the couple was “either too immature, not in their right minds to be married or a combination of both.”

“If I were you, I would just politely decline with a ‘sorry we cannot help you financially or attend your wedding. We wish you well and lots of happiness for the future.’ If your friend pushes for a reason, you simply say that you cannot afford to contribute to their vision for their day,” they wrote. “I would also seriously consider if this is a friendship you want to continue having. Especially if her/their response to this is anything other than ‘We completely understand and thanks for the well wishes.'”

Another Reddit user suggested that those who can’t afford a lavish wedding should “get married at someone’s house and have a cake and drink or dessert reception.”

“They lost me at telling the guests what color to wear,” another comment read. “I’m not buying new clothes to attend as a guest just so they can achieve some look.”

Rearview shot of a young couple arriving hand in hand at their wedding reception.Getty

Ultimately, the wedding guest thanked those on Reddit for their input and wrote that it “opened my eyes as to how actually insane all of it is” and “cleared a lot up.”

“I’ve decided I am going to wait closer to the wedding date to back out, I still am going to pay for the cupcakes I promised because it just seems wrong to back out of that now,” they wrote. “I will make sure they get delivered with a nice card from us. I feel used and I think they’re taking advantage of people generosity and I’m realizing they’re probably going to lose a lot of relationships because of their decisions.”

After some “deep thinking,” they also decided to start “distancing myself from them” and thinks they may have simply “outgrown them as people.”

“Again, thank you for everyone’s input, it has made me think about things I have been ignoring for a long time now,” they wrote. “I will always wish them nothing but the best, I just can’t be apart of it anymore.”

source: people.com