He Proposed at a Park Bench He Planned to Dedicate. When His Partner Died Suddenly, It Became a Memorial Instead (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Jack Ciapciak and Jack Lorentzen getting engaged.Photo:@MargaretSullivanPhoto / Margaret Sullivan Photography

@MargaretSullivanPhoto / Margaret Sullivan Photography

Jack Lorentzen was the most special personJack Ciapciakhad ever met.

“He had the unique ability to make everyone he came in contact with feel special,” Ciapciak tells PEOPLE exclusively. “He was a ray of sunshine. He had this incredible presence, energy and joy for life. He’s someone who truly lived each moment to the fullest and made the most of every day.”

Lorentzen grew up in Westfield, New Jersey. He was a Division I swimmer at Lehigh University, and after college, he moved to Hoboken and began his career at Brooklinen. He was one of the first employees, running the customer service team, and helped grow the business.

It was while living in the tristate area that Ciapciak connected with Lorentzen one night in New York City through two mutual friends, both of whom happened to be named Kate. “One Kate brought the other Kate to my birthday party, and the other Kate said, ‘Wait, I know a guy named Jack. Would you ever date someone with the same name?’ " Ciapciak, a television writer, recalls.

“I laughed. I was like, ‘It never crossed my mind. Oh s—, that could happen,’ " he adds.

Jack Ciapciak and Jack Lorentzen sitting on the bench.@MargaretSullivanPhoto / Margaret Sullivan Photography

Not long after, on Jan. 14, 2016, the Kates set up Ciapciak and Lorentzen on their first date at Finnerty’s in the East Village. Right away, the two clicked.

“He had this magnetic energy, and I remember walking into the bar, seeing him sitting there, and looking into his eyes for the first time and just thinking, ‘Oh, there’s no way this guy is going to be into me,’ " Ciapciak, 32, says. “He is so incredible. But we sat there for a couple of hours. One drink turned into five or whatever, but the conversation flowed so easily.”

“We related to so much — obviously our names, but also we were the same age, had similar childhoods, both had a brother and a sister, and we just clicked on so many things,” he adds. “The whole time I was sitting there, though, I was devastated because I thought, I think he’s just liking me as a friend. I feel like I’m meeting a best friend. I didn’t think that he was as into me as I was into him.”

But then, at the end of the night, Lorentzen walked Ciapciak home and they shared a kiss. “So that’s when I realized, oh, thank God. For some reason, this guy thinks there’s something special about me.”

From then on, Ciapciak and Lorentzen began dating, and eventually moved into an apartment in N.Y.C. together. When the pandemic hit, Ciapciak started going on hour-long walks every day along the West Side Highway, and eventually, Lorentzen began to join him. He also joined Chelsea Piers to swim, and soon he would walk from their apartment up the West Side Highway to Chelsea Piers every day.

One day, Ciapciak started paying attention to the benches along the way, noticing various plaques commemorating different people and moments. He noticed some memorials but also saw a proposal plaque. “I thought, ‘Oh my God, he might hate this, but I also think it’s kind of hilarious,’ " Ciapciak recalls.

He reached out to the Hudson River Park Foundation to figure out the details. From there, he met with a woman named Eliza, and together they walked and picked out the benches that were available. There was one, right in front of the LGBTQ+ Memorial, overlooking Hoboken. Right away, Ciapciak knew it was the perfect spot to propose.

Eliza helped him get a temporary plaque made that said, “Will you marry me?” He planned to replace it later with a permanent plaque that would say “Jack & Jack” and their wedding date, Oct. 14, 2023.

Then, on Sept. 29, 2022, while Ciapciak’s family was in town, he told Lorentzen that they were going to meet his family for dinner and that his sister had her kids at a park over on the West Side Highway, which is how he got him there. Ciapciak’s cousin Meg, a photographer, was hiding in a bush behind the bench, ready to capture the moment.

But before they got there, a couple sat down on the bench. Meg went over to them and said, " ‘Hey, I’m so sorry, but my cousin’s about to come up and propose. Would you mind moving?’ " Ciapciak recalls. “The couple said, ‘How about this? We’ll sit here and save the bench for you, and then you just give us a nod when you’re ready, and we’ll get up.’ "

Jack Ciapciak and Jack Lorentzen get engaged.@MargaretSullivanPhoto / Margaret Sullivan Photography

After the proposal, they went on a sunset cruise around the Statue of Liberty with their families and enjoyed the most beautiful sky that night, Ciapciak remembers.

“We were already committed to each other and neither of us felt the need to get engaged,” he says. “We weren’t in any rush. We were already living as if we were married.”

Jack Ciapciak and Jack Lorentzen getting engaged.@MargaretSullivanPhoto / Margaret Sullivan Photography

From there, Lorentzen and Ciapciak jumped right into planning their wedding, booking the venue, hiring a band and even working with a planner. But then, their lives turned upside down. Just three months after the proposal, while visiting Ciapciak’s family for Christmas in St. Louis, early one morning, Lorentzen died suddenly from an undiagnosed heart condition at age 30.

“The thing I’m grateful for is that it was quick and painless,” Ciapciak says. “If it was going to happen at any moment, I’m happy it happened there, and that we weren’t … I wasn’t alone with him in our apartment. We were in my family’s home, and they were there to take care of me and do everything we could to save him.”

“I’m very lucky that I have a great support system,” he adds. “I have an incredible family. I’ve got incredible friends. I have Jack’s family. He has a twin sister who I speak to every day. I talk to his mom on the phone every other weekend. I’m going to visit his parents and Florida next weekend.”

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In the months and years that followed Lorentzen’s death, Ciapciak found himself on his daily West Side Highway walks again. He’d stop on his walk, sit on that bench, and say what he wanted to say to his partner of seven years. “I just feel so grateful that I have that safe space to do it,” he says.

Soon, those words marked the bench.

Then, about a month ago, Ciapciak was on a trip to London and couldn’t sleep. It was 3:00 a.m., and he was lying in bed, scrolling through photos. He thought, “Oh, the bench would be a really fun story.” So, he posted it on TikTok and went to sleep.

“There’s no timeline for grief. It’s true what they say about the waves,” he says. “It goes up and down. And time’s not going to take this pain away, but you learn how to live with it, you grow around it. I’ll have good stretches, and then I’ll have some bad stretches. And I think that’s just what it’s going to be, and I’m learning to accept that.”

“I’m going to love him for the rest of my life,” he continues. “Part of me never wants the pain to go away because I don’t want my love for him to go away. I think I’m doing as well as I could be, and I’m very proud of myself.”

Jack Ciapciak and Jack Lorentzen share a kiss.@MargaretSullivanPhoto / Margaret Sullivan Photography

Among the people who have noticed Ciapciak’s video are a number of celebrities. For Ciapciak, seeing this, he knows Lorentzen is smiling down. He jokes Lorentzen’s dream was to go viral on Twitter, now X.

But for Ciapciak, there’s one comment that stands out the most. Since the proposal, he’s always wondered about the couple who sat on the bench and saved it, because they’re in some of the photos.

“I posted this, I thought, I wonder if they’ll see it. And yesterday, I got a message from that woman,” he says. “She saw the post and she said she was so sorry to hear that he had passed away. She said, ‘We told people that story all the time.’ She said that, at the time, they were staying in New York for two months.”

“She said, ‘After that night, we’d come back to the bench often and sit there and think about the two of you.’ So I’m happy that I found her, and I was able to thank her for helping make that moment what it was,” he adds.

source: people.com