Ryan Sutter Recalls Trista Nearly Breaking Up with Him amid 'a Little Bit of a Rough Period': 'I Just Had to Wake Up'

Mar. 15, 2025

From left: Ryan and Trista Sutter at the ‘The Golden Wedding’ special on Jan. 4, 2024.Photo:James Clark/Disney via Getty Images

James Clark/Disney via Getty Images

Ryan Sutteris looking back at a difficult moment during his 21-year marriage toTrista Sutter.

“If it has been close, it’s been just her breaking up with me probably years ago,” Ryan told hostsAmy RobachandT.J. Holmes. “But, I think I went through a little bit of a rough period of just trying to figure out kind of where I was in life, and I think that was difficult on her.”

Despite the challenging time, Ryan insisted, “I don’t think there’s ever been a time where our love for each other has wavered.”

“But at that point … I was a little more selfish than she wanted to have someone be if she was gonna spend the rest of her life with them,” he explained. “So, those are probably our hardest conversations and…I just had to wake up and grow up a little bit and I feel like I did. I mean we’re still here, but that’s probably the closest.”

“And I don’t know that we were that close, but, definitely, I think there are some thoughts of, like, on her end, is this who I wanna be with forever?” he continued. “And thank god, she decided it was.”

From left: Ryan Sutter and Trista Sutter attend the “Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars” event at Catch Rooftop on May 29, 2014 in New York City.Bennett Raglin/WireImage

Bennett Raglin/WireImage

Trista also recalled a piece of relationship advice she received when she was the Bachelorette two decades ago, sharing, “Choose someone that you can’t live without. Not someone that you can live with, but someone you can’t live without.”

“That was definitely something that played into my decision because I didn’t want to live without Ryan,” she said. “I felt like my life would not be as happy without him.”

She added that it’s important for couples to learn to forgive, communicate and laugh together.

“If they’re not a good kisser, kick them to the curb,” she said.

First-ever Bachelorette Trista Sutter celebrates her 50th birthday with her husband, Ryan Sutter at the all new Sandals Royal Curaçao Resort on November 29, 2022 in Willemstad, Curacao.John Parra/Getty

John Parra/Getty

Last year,Ryansparked speculation about the pair’s relationship when he posted cryptic postsabout her being gonewhile unbeknownst to the public, she was filmingSpecial Forces: World’s Toughest Test.

Trista later told PEOPLE that when the rumors began online, she thought“the world had lost its mind.”

“Well, immediately I saw Ryan’s post and I think it’s incredibly sweet because if you have the perspective that I was filming the show when you read his post, then you know they’re not cryptic,” she recalled. “He’s like, ‘I wish I was with you. I wish I could be with you. I wish I could help you through this. You need to find yourself,' and that kind of thing.”

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“But this clearly went viral and it kind of filled my heart, made my heart happy that there are people out there that still care about us,” she concluded.

source: people.com