Woman Confronts Boyfriend After He Lends Money to Ex; Now They're 'at an Impasse' with 'Weird Tension'

Mar. 15, 2025

A couple argues in a stock photo.Photo:Photodjo/Getty

Photodjo/Getty

A woman is seeking advice after her boyfriend of six years lent money to his ex-girlfriend, causing “weird tension” that neither of them “know how to resolve fully.“In a post shared onReddit, the woman, 28, writes that while she and her boyfriend, also 28, have a great relationship and that he is “sweet, patient, thoughtful,” his ex continues to come between them.The ex, who dated the woman’s boyfriend for a year before their relationship began, had a tumultuous and toxic dynamic with him, according to the post. The woman alleges the ex was struggling with significant mental health challenges, and that her behavior affected the boyfriend to the point of jeopardizing his academic performance. After she cheated on him a second time, he ended the relationship and blocked her on social media.However, the poster writes that it isn’t in her boyfriend’s nature to hold grudges, so he unblocked the ex after a year. Since then, the ex has continued to initiate contact with the boyfriend.Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.“She’s gotten bolder since the pandemic, even commenting how happy (me and my boyfriend) look in our pictures on social,” the poster writes. Her boyfriend engages with the ex minimally, saying thanks or greeting her back.

A couple arguing in a stock photo.Kinga Krzeminska/Getty

Kinga Krzeminska/Getty

“I thought, well, tough,” she writes. “I had an ex cheat on me too, and I’m not lending him a dime even if he fell on hard times. My boyfriend doesn’t share the sentiment. He said he lent her money ($500) and isn’t expecting it back. He didn’t open her message explaining what had happened though, nor does he plan to reply. He just sent her money and that was it.“The woman confronted her boyfriend about the situation, expressing her concerns that his actions violated their previously agreed-upon boundaries regarding the ex, she continues.

One commenter on the post affirmed the woman’s position, writing “You did nothing wrong in sharing your feelings with him about this toxic ex and his communication with her. He told you he promised not to respond to her any more - but then he not only responds to her, he gives her $500. While it is his money to do with as he wishes, he also made a commitment to you that he broke. “Another commenter agreed, recommending that the poster take a hard line against her partner: “He has a right to do what he wants with his money, but you have a right to decide what you’ll put up with from your partner. For me, this would be a dealbreaker.”

source: people.com