Woman Says Family Gave Her a 'Hard Time' for Missing Grandpa's Funeral Because of the Cost: 'I Already Feel So Guilty'

Mar. 15, 2025

People at a funeral (stock image).Photo:Urilux/Getty Stock Image

Urilux/Getty Stock Image

A woman skipped hergrandfather’s funeraldue to high travel costs — and she doesn’t think it’s “fair” that her family gave her a “hard time” about it.

In a post on Reddit’s“Am I the A——”forum, the woman said her grandfather had been in poor health for a while and died last year while she “was backpacking [and working] in Asia.”

The woman’s family, she said, planned to hold a funeral service several weeks later in a “different state than where we are all from,” and when looking into travel options, the cost of a ticket from Asia to the U.S. — combined withthe winter clothesshe would need to buy and out-of-state accommodations for the trip — would amount to about $3,000, which the woman said was about “half of all the money I had at the time.”

Flowers at a memorial service (stock image).Elizabeth Fernandez/Getty Stock Image

Elizabeth Fernandez/Getty Stock Image

When the woman told her family that she would not be attending the funeral, she said she “got a bit of flack," and her mom — who she admitted was already “dealing with losing her dad” — “didn’t talk to me during this time.”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I’m worried about seeing my family when I go back home,” the woman continued, adding, “I alreadyfeel so guiltyfor missing the funeral because I loved my grandpa and I feel like I’ve not processed his death yet since I’ve been out of the country for so long."

“But I don’t feel like it’s fair for them to make me feel bad for it,” she concluded.

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Man placing a flower on a gravestone (stock image).D-Keine/Getty Stock Image

D-Keine/Getty Stock Image

“If it is so important for you to be there, your family can help you defray the cost. I suspect wiping out your savings is not what your grandfather would have wanted," one user wrote.

Another person agreed, writing: “Funerals are for the living. The dead are gone and not coming back. If it was so important to your family that you be there, they should have helped you with the cost of attending once you made it clear that it wasn’t possible for you to do it.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, but rest assured your grandpa couldn’t care less whether you were there or not. You hold him in your heart and that’s what matters,” reassured another commenter.

source: people.com