Woman Says She's 'Tired of Waiting' After Boyfriend Breaks His '5 Years or 30' Promise to Get Engaged

Mar. 15, 2025

Engagement ring in a box (stock image).Photo:Getty

Getty

A woman is frustrated that her boyfriend hasn’t “kept to his timeline” on their plans to get engaged.

The woman shared that Jeremy’s reasoning for not wanting to get engaged yet is that he wants to pay off some debts before buying a ring for her. “But we are both saving and living well below our means, and I don’t want anything expensive,” she pointed out, while complaining that the two don’t seem to share the same priorities.

Engagement ring (stock image).Getty

“Jeremy is focused on his physical training and his hobbies. I’m ready to buy a home, get married, maybe even start a family, but I feel like we’re stuck in the post-college lifestyle,” she wrote.

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The woman said her attempts to reason with her boyfriend “fall on deaf ears,” and Jeremy argues that “the commitment is already there [between them] and that he will get to a place where he feels he’s ready.”

She added, “He also told me the only reason he’d ever propose is because I want it — because it has no meaning or joy for him!”

The woman said she’s been left feeling “confused and worried that something wrong with me.” And she finds herself constantly looking around and comparing herself to others — which is only fueling her frustration.

“All my friends are married. They have bought homes and are starting families,” she noted. “I’m tired of waiting for this train to come in, and I’m resentful that he hasn’t kept to his timeline.”

Upset couple (stock image).Getty Images /PhotoAlto/Frederic Cirou

Getty Images /PhotoAlto/Frederic Cirou

She even admitted that she’s not sure she will say “yes” at this point if Jeremy does propose. “Do I run for the hills or trust him to keep his word?” she concluded her letter, which she signed, “Waiting and Waiting.”

In her response, columnist Abigail Van Buren urged the woman to take some time to carefully reflect on her situation. “When a man tells you that marriage has no meaning or joy for him and that he will propose when he feels ready but still isn’t ready after five years, you have some important decisions to make about your future,” she wrote.

“Trying to wrestle a marriage proposal out of him because your friends have all married and started families does not guarantee that your union would be a happy one,” she also noted.

She left the woman with a final piece of advice: to remind Jeremy on last time that marriage is very important to her and that he has not “kept his word” about the five-year-timeline. If Jeremy still won’t make the commitment she desires, the columnist advised, “Then move on, so you won’t be writing in ANOTHER five years about this same problem.”

source: people.com